Part of me wishes that I could be like this song says; “content with loneliness” but we both know how I am! The other part of me would never allow it! I have seen so much heart ache and heart break, and I have experienced loss, firsthand on so many levels in my time. Sometimes I wonder what in the world! I mean I am only thirty-five years old and have experienced so much pain; it makes me almost not want to know what is to come!
I’m thinking that I must have been silly enough to pray some prayer along the way that said something like Paul in the New Testament where he said he had learned to be content in his life in times of lack and times of plenty, and that he became all things to all people (Lori paraphrase). You know someone should really warn Christians to really think before you pray because He will take you seriously! God does not fool around with requests such as these!
All kidding aside, He is a good God but boy isn’t He jealous! I mean here I am a single mom of four and struggling because this is a HEAVY load that is not exactly meant for one person! I have a deep desire for a mate for so many reasons: to share the image of love that God himself bestows upon his bride the church, to enjoy that intimacy that comes from knowing someone (as in genesis, really knowing a person), to grow with, live, laugh and love the world with; but also, to help carry this load. You know burdens halved, joys doubled! I long to be held and to actually be able to rely on someone, to lean on someone, to share a like minded dream, and actually trust that man. So here I am looking for just that, someone and wouldn’t you know it, God steps in, and things get,...well,...challenging! I’m not sure, but I imagine it is probably like a parent thinking that no one is good enough for their child. I know there are no perfect people out there; I mean I’m not, so how can I look for someone who is? Well, there is the misinterpretation is, not perfect but perfect for me. Am I too loving, too giving, too sacrificial?
One friend reminded me that I should present my requests to the Lord and rest in the fact that in His time things will be perfect. So I did, I presented my list of what I would like in a mate to my Abba last night. I had to laugh when he commented, “Are you done yet?” to which I replied, “just one more page!” I am so glad my Father in Heaven has such a great sense of humor and is looking out for me! I believe that He has planned to bless me in an amazingly, perfect for me, relationship someday when His timing is right. Until then, He is my only exception!
Although, God in reference to moving my family, it sure would be nice to have a man around! I’m just saying! ;)
Blessings!
2 comments:
My dear Sister In Christ, Need I remind you nothing will be perfect until we are reunited with our maker. Also, the only one that can make us whole is looking to our Lord and living for Him Only. Nothing will make you complete/happy until you are happy with only yourself and your Lord. You do have your plate full on this world but you have so many things to be grateful for. Quit looking for that earthly man on earth, the Lord is waiting to fill All your needs only if you would believe He will. I speak from experience, when you truly live for Him in Every area of your life, living as if Heaven truly matters in everything you do here on this earth, earthly things are not that important. You have had true love and it is so unfair that it was taken from you here on earth...but so many people have never had that. I too was in your shoes at one time, be strong my sister, rise up to the occasion of serving your Lord and believing in what all his promises he has told you. You are beautiful in and out and are so talented, He has given you so many gifts and Don't forget to Dance everyday. I care so much for you but more importantly God does and He is the only one that matters
Thank you for the encouraging words. Who is this?
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