Today is the first day of a new walk of faith for me. I have been chasing a future that was my will and now I have decided to take and make the time for my beloved God. To abide in His presence and seek his face, are what concerns me today! In rest and repentance is your salvation, is my new place. Have you ever totally shocked yourself by your own bad behavior? I have become increasingly appalled at myself in certain situations and especially my attitude concerning the Lord's beloved around me! I found myself saying, "Wow, Lori you used to be so much nicer than you are now! What happened?" Whereas I'm not exactly sure, I believe it has something to do with my getting away from submitting to His will for my life. I guess a year ago when I got divorced, I got mad and I took things into my own hands and determined that I would be the decider of my fate! Wow, how stupid to think that I could handle such a task! The year has been full of struggles and stress, anxiety and hurt, fear and disappointment! I certainly can not say that I was experiencing joy or abundant living, day to day!
So that is where I am at! Not doing, but trying to remember how to "be" in Him! Surrendering and constantly begging Him to do this "life thing" for me and carry me through. Terribly ashamed at how He has been doing that all along and I have struggled the entire time to try to get out of his loving hands, and how I have totally ignored him. Repentance and rest!
I had the most amazing worship time today to the above song! Got the chords and God is allowing me or affording me the opportunity to learn it and let my heart and spirit commune with Him, and realize a small part of just how much He Loves Me! He is wrecking me and it is awesome! Thanks Daddy! Te quiero!
