To memorial or not to memorial that is the question!

Just a quick post about something that had recently happened in my life. Well last week we got some bad news, my late husband's mother, Robbin passed away. This was the last remaining Larson relative aside of my children. She had struggled with cancer for 6 mons. Where as she was not in pain till the end and took a sudden turn in the 3 days prior, it was still too soon for us! You see my late husband passes away in September of 04 due to cancer at the young age of 37. He was an only child. His father passed away in March of 06 and now the mother in 08. That along with losing 2 of my grandparents(03,07), a cousin(04), close friend(06), and my mother(06) in the last 5yrs, we have had our share of being confronted with death.

One thing I have to say is the importance of a Memorial Service or Funeral Service. Now some of the losses I have experienced have had services and about half did not. So here is a quick little opinion, which you can totally disregard if you want to, about the importance of a service.

It upsets me when people decide for whatever reason to not have a service in memory of themselves when they die. I have to laugh because my first thought is of screaming, "It's not about you!" Lol. It is funny because it's not even though they are the one pictured up front and the topic of every conversation. Memorials are really about those loved ones and relatives. It allows them time to begin the grieving process, share stories, let people hug and love them when they are hurting due to the loss. It allows them to even be encouraged to see how many people the life of their loved one touched. So many times you see the most unexpected people at these services, paying their respects to a family in grief. At my husband's funeral, a lady from the Jehovah's witnesses came. I was shocked because I didn't think they did that sort of thing for people who didn't believe as they did. Daniel and I spend every Tuesday morning at 9am with her and her friend. Through all the time of trying to convince each other of the right belief, the one thing showed through when she said, "I just don't understand how you both can be so loving?" Ha! I will never forget that lady and that she came to somehow pay back something, to give back some of that love.

Memorials and Funerals are to help people receive closure and move towards moving on in their lives. I say it that way because usually everyone goes back to their lives, but for the family in grief they have to find their lives again, a life with out their loved one. They have to figure out how to set upon the journey of moving onward.

I told my children that no matter how senile I get or cranky, that they better have a service when I die, because the greatest of love is saying things you don't want to because you know that someday they will need it! Blessings!