Airplane window point of view!

I was talking to my Pastor last week and he told me about how he had heard about the concept of a keyhole point of view. This idea is that God only gives you a portion of the entirety to view. Well, I just got back from a trip to Arkansas to visit my very sick Uncle. He is doing much better as last I heard, off the ventilator, Woo hoo! Thanks to those who prayed and keep on praying because he's not out of the woods yet! Well I went on the trip with the expectation in my spirit of God working in Lori, and you know what? He did!
After two months of what seemed like silence from my Daddy in heaven, He spoke, or well I guess I was finally listening. This is what happened:

As I boarded the plane in Houston I had such a sense of expectancy and excitement in my spirit and my physical body was now pretty functional and awake. The plane began to taxi and God spoke. "Your life is like this plane ride Lori," He said, "It starts out calm and comfortable, nothing really exciting happening here-taxiing." "Then comes the exciting part, where if you pretend you can imagine yourself in a race car speeding around the track with adrenalin flowing!" Woo hoo! Okay, God didn't say Woo hoo, but I did! Anyway, " The take off is so thrilling like the beginning of your journey with Me Lori." "What happens next," He pauses, "turbulence!" " It is rough! It may even seem to you Lori that the plane will tear apart or crash. This is like those tough times you go through where you don't think you will make it and that your destruction is coming" He continued, "The take off was necessary for the assent, which is difficult and sometimes the bottom just seems to drop out from under you! You may feel sick at this stage because it is still turbulent!" As we climbed higher, God added, "But then Lori look you are up high, above the world, looking down on circumstances. You are above them and climbing higher!" My Father continued, "As you climb in your walk with Me you get more accustomed to this Life. The live where there is nothing visible that is holding you up. There is no rational or understandable or explainable reason you should be standing, but you are!" "Lori, you are not destroyed!" I took a breath and He explained, "You can see the circumstances from a new vantage point, a healthy vantage point where you are not consumed by them." "Because of Me, Jesus, you are at My vantage point, the point of seeing it for what it is, a fleeting circumstance." He reassured me, "You are secure with me." "Your journey Lori, is ultimately climbing higher, towards heaven and home, which is away from circumstances, sin, and pain." He explained about the view a little more, He said, " Sometimes you can see clearly the circumstances and the provisions I have made to meet you needs, but sometimes my dear girl, I cloud your view, so that you can't see." " It is in those times, like now in your life, that you have to trust me." So then I ask Him, "Can I stay here?" He replies, "I thought you'd never ask!"



God has broke through something in me. I have let go of somethings and received His peace and love. You know I am not real good at this totally depending on God thing, I'm just not! It is a struggle. Someone asked me last week if I believed that God has my best interests at heart, my response was a resounding, "No." Wow, and I'm a Christian? lol Well, I guess when my husband Daniel died I started not trusting God so much anymore, and with every successive hurt and pain suffered I trusted Him less and less. I have spent a lot of time thinking about that and how hurtful it is to God that I would do that. I think of what it must be like for Him, when His daughter, whom he is trying to help, blames Him for all the hurt and begins to pull away in distrust. Through listening to a song by Coldplay it really hit me like a ton of bricks.

God spoke to my spirit, "Lori, I have loved you with a perfect love." "All those times you thought people were loving you, it was really me, through them, through Daniel, through Mark." "It's always been me." Oh Lord forgive me of how I have hurt you so!

So that is where I'm at, a renewed sense of trust in God, depending upon Him as my source, resting in His love.